I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
no more duck duck goose at the bar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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