drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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