I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize