clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
