This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The Olympian is in my bed
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