i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
