If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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