We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The power of my boobs compel you
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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