Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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