Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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