So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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