Just fell off a train. Bad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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