I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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