PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize