He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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