This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
