I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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