i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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