i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize