Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you traded sex for a burrito?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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