Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
