i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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