I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
