you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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