Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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