Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize