That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
