Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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