Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
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