i was born a porn star she said
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
