Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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