Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize