her vagine was all disorganized.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
