I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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