This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
