1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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