Your tits are I can't wait for
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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