idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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