I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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