scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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