She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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