he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
