i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
