There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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