If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize