I need help removing her.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize