Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
