We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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