The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
