he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
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He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
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he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero