what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
