All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
